How could you not want to see your own child?

Comment

Comment by kerrie mason on November 27, 2009 at 10:20am

J.D

My x husband tried this with me, he said he wasnt going to be able to keep seth for his entire time he had to leave early, well needless to say, i found out he just wanted to party so i packed seth up and drove over and just happen to notice his truck, so i got seth out knocked on the door and told him he had a few more days with his son by law, and if he thinks he can pick and choose when he should do this then i will pick and choose when i let him go... in the court papers it says 7 consecutive days and thats what it ment it didnt have a clause for bringing him back to party and i also told him if this is a problem that i can take him back to court and ask the judge to give him 1 day instead of 7... He kept seth and now does what he is supposed to my the papers.... I had to show him its important to be a father and spend time with his son, or he could have the option of none. It sounds harsh but trying to explain to an 8 year old was worse so this worked good for me...

Comment by J.D. on November 27, 2009 at 9:14am

Sorry, our situations are different and I'm still in pissed off mode at my ex for not being there for our kids.
Now, what does have to do with your situation is the "whenever its easy for him" thing. The child needs to know"ok I get to see Daddy today. Not " when will I see daddy?" Like I said, he will come around , just give it some time.

Comment by WhisperingWinds on November 26, 2009 at 10:32pm

Trying to bump this back up to get rid of all the spam popping up here.

Comment by annette on November 23, 2009 at 3:39pm

i totally understand how you feel with this situation, only difference is my daughter's father simply don't want nothing to do with her. it breaks my heart to know my little girl is innocent and have to go through this direct abuse of something she know nothing about. she's 1yr old and he's only held her once in her entire life which was last christmas and since her birth last sept he's only called once which he was forced into doin.

keep an open mind you never know if he'll come around.

as for your question, no you are perfectly right for not wanting to put your child through that, but like everyone else said your and his actions now will be a direct result on her future

Comment by Leilani on November 20, 2009 at 10:18pm

I can completely relate!!! My son is almost 2 and his father has only seen him twice in the past year, calls on average 4 times a month and doesn't have a phone to reach him at. He does the same thing about bailing on plans and makes up stupid excuses that he's been 'busy' when i ask why he hasn't tried to contact me (hes been unemployed for months now so its BS that he's 'busy') GRRRR!!! I think you are completely right for not wanting him so see your daughter. I feel the same way about my son & his father.

My advice for you is: have a serious talk with him and lay it all out. You might think he doesn't deserve to be around since his actions show you that he pretty much cut himself out of the picture...but you never know how things will be in the future. Somewhere down the road he might decide he wants to have a relationship with his daughter and that is totally valid.

Ask yourself: If you have it legalized in court will the arrangements make the situation any easier? The legal process is a gnarly one but in your case it might be necessary.

Above all always think of what's best for your daughter.

Good luck & take care! =)

Comment by WhisperingWinds on November 20, 2009 at 5:25pm

I agree. I did not expect my ex to not see his kids. he was close with them. But at least now he pays what he owed then. When he did see them later, he grabbed my son with a look that was just amazing. This is one thing about our society that is seriously wrong. Do not not cosntantly remind her. let her ask and explain when she ask.

Comment by Luis on November 20, 2009 at 4:03pm

No absolutley not, It sounds like you just want whats best for your beautiful daughter much like everyother parent here. My son Gabriel is 7 now and i'm having the same problem with his mother now . Trust me seeing that dissapointed look on a childs face is almost unbearable . If you can fix the problem now while she's still an infant than you should... But before cutting him out completly give him another chance and have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel and how his actions will affect your daughter later on.. Because it will if he keeps it up. You also don't want to be the one to give him an excuse for not being around he could use it against you in the future . So I guess in a sense you always have to keep the door cracked open.. :/ grr... i hate the fact that its true sometimes i'd like my sons mom to stop half assing it. GOod luck