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A Deeper Understanding
All of the cliché things that people have said to me about love and relationships, I am finding to be true. I never have listened to these types of discussions or believed these 'opinions' to be true because I believe conventional wisdom is dangerous...so dangerous that it is the reason that people believe the masses and stumble when they must make a decision all alone or, God forbid, they are faced with a value judgment.
I've always believed in true love, real love. The love that no one can say shit about. The partnership that is built on respect for the other because both of you recognizes that the other is the only. The kind of love that makes the night fall and the sun rise not as scary, not as tiring... because you have stood in the fire of life and reaped the absence of sorrow, that which is joy, together.
But, it seems that I too have fell victim to the brain-washing; The watering down of love, the easiness of sex, the disregard for the human spirit and what is really important. The lack of motivation to find a deeper understanding and a higher truth by those, men in particular, that I surround myself with has led me to become complacent. I too have accepted this 'wisdom'…this way of living…
But, what do you do? I live in this society that rushes life to its death. Where the people never stop and look at those they love in the eye. They don't have meaningful conversations with their children. They never find where the real problem lays in a given situation…just fix it real quick, cover it up, and move on. What are we rushing for? Oh yeah, we have to hurry and die.
I live in a society where people aren't allowed to be human anymore. You might get fired if you are a single mother and you are 5 minutes late. God forbid her child may have needed her for those 5 extra minutes. Oh! but now she must juggle whether she give her child the time that she needs or put dinner on the table because she isn't getting help from the father. He's too busy lookin' for the next hot woman, while his 'baby mama' is drowning her soul tryin to make sure their little girl isn't growin' up to BE the 'next hot woman'.
So, what do I do? This is where I live. These are the people that live here. How do I keep my head above the sea of destructive bull shit that others call their 'life'?
How do I find the love I spoke of above when most would never even understand what I am talking about? Or even more so, when they are too ashamed to live their life unconventionally with a loyalty to the people that actually matter?
I've always believed in true love, real love. The love that no one can say shit about. The partnership that is built on respect for the other because both of you recognizes that the other is the only. The kind of love that makes the night fall and the sun rise not as scary, not as tiring... because you have stood in the fire of life and reaped the absence of sorrow, that which is joy, together.
But, it seems that I too have fell victim to the brain-washing; The watering down of love, the easiness of sex, the disregard for the human spirit and what is really important. The lack of motivation to find a deeper understanding and a higher truth by those, men in particular, that I surround myself with has led me to become complacent. I too have accepted this 'wisdom'…this way of living…
But, what do you do? I live in this society that rushes life to its death. Where the people never stop and look at those they love in the eye. They don't have meaningful conversations with their children. They never find where the real problem lays in a given situation…just fix it real quick, cover it up, and move on. What are we rushing for? Oh yeah, we have to hurry and die.
I live in a society where people aren't allowed to be human anymore. You might get fired if you are a single mother and you are 5 minutes late. God forbid her child may have needed her for those 5 extra minutes. Oh! but now she must juggle whether she give her child the time that she needs or put dinner on the table because she isn't getting help from the father. He's too busy lookin' for the next hot woman, while his 'baby mama' is drowning her soul tryin to make sure their little girl isn't growin' up to BE the 'next hot woman'.
So, what do I do? This is where I live. These are the people that live here. How do I keep my head above the sea of destructive bull shit that others call their 'life'?
How do I find the love I spoke of above when most would never even understand what I am talking about? Or even more so, when they are too ashamed to live their life unconventionally with a loyalty to the people that actually matter?
Comment
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Comment by Michael McDonald on October 28, 2008 at 8:45pm - True Love = hard work and commitment. putting the needs of your family before the self. not to say there can not be passion but when you stop working at your commitment then it starts to die. I think after my daughter was born my wife knew her years where short she cut me off not only sexaully but emotionally. I stayed faithful for the next eight years till her death. It was not easy but i take vows and commitment seriously. the end result was that when Bernice died it was more like a good friend had died and not my wife I guess that was her last gift to me.
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Comment by Morgan Siler on June 8, 2008 at 9:57am -
This is a beautiful, real and honest post, Mary.
It is true that so many people today rush and rush and rush for nothing....their priorities have been mega-misguided. I think one of the most powerful things we can do to live against the grain of 21st century work-until-you-die-or-accumulate-more-than-you-can-enjoy mentality is to surround ourselves with others who share our ideals; others who 'get-it'. Its very empowering to be a part of a community of strong, sophisticated, sexy, and SOULFUL single parents who, like you said, share in a deeper understanding of things.
The kind of love you write about is definitely out there-- I got to believe it too-- in the meantime NO SETTLING! Just hang out more with the guys and gals on iHeart =)
A momma like you in my life brings the world lots of happiness.
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Comment by Chanel on May 8, 2008 at 11:07am - Don't believe the hype. Just because we have been burned along the way doesn't mean that true love doesn't exist. The people that hurt us were put in our lives for a reason. Luckily I believe my ex was here to give me the gift of my daughter. He taught me how to be a better person and to push myself in my career. I suppose what we have to do is just find out what that person gave us in a positive note and take all the rest and burn it. Maybe we learned what not to do in our next relationship from their negative actions. But whatever you do, don't stop believing that true love exists. You deserve it, and when you keep believing, it will happen. Like breeds like! Wishing you a good day!
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Comment by Candace on May 7, 2008 at 6:05pm - Can't wait to meet you and have a drink! You get it girl! Not many people out there left like that... Are you coming to the social hour tommorrow?
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Comment by Sabrina on May 7, 2008 at 12:03pm
- Thanks for posting this! Some of the same things have been going to my mind!
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I wont buy mine a bikini, she does have some tankinis. They cover as much skin and easier in the bathroom.
Wow that is scary. My thoughts and prayer go out to you. I would let the worker and attorney know before you talk to her like Angel said. I wish you the best.
I'm not sure about the legality of the situation, but is there any way you can get recordings of Camille's sessions? It would be extremely hard for me to not hold my baby and tell them it will be OK after hearing that. Also, perhaps you could reassu…
no bikini
you still got that computer? It is amazing what can be recovered.
ditto what angel said and i would try and find out if there are any blood samples or other evidence left and file a police report.
Good gracious, Kim. Just when I think that I couldn't think any worse of your ex...... Sheesh! If it were me, I'd definitely inform the case worker and attorney know BEFORE you talk to Camille. Kim, you're freaking stronger than Wonder Woman for goi…
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