Domestic Violence Survivors

Comment

Comment by Belinda on January 10, 2010 at 9:49am

Glad to see a place for this. I was in a relationship for 13 years married for 12. We had three children together. It took awhile to get the strength to leave. and when we did it only got worse, but he did end up in jail. My children and I are better off. course they were the ones to open up my eyes and see there was something better out there. They are doing so much better now that they don't have to see their father. Of course counseling has helped and we still have a long way to go. They have controlling issues, anger issues, and still want to hit or kick when upset. It has only been seven almost eight months since we have been on our own, but the best months of our lives. Not only is there the physical abuse, but the emotional abuse is just as bad we went through both. Unfortunately the kids didn't just see it happen to me they were victims of abuse also.

Comment by WhisperingWinds on January 3, 2010 at 8:20pm

I have had hit my life more than once. Despite counseling.
I hate it. I knew I wanted the cycle to end with my son. His dad grew up with it from his dad. To me it is nore more then terrorism. To this day I hate to fight. We all get angry and frustrated/ I now this is a control thing with most people and they do not get that they will push away the ones they say the love.

Comment by Elizabeth on May 27, 2009 at 11:33am

I'm a survivor.
I left my abusive husband when I was 20 weeks pregnant. He had become increasingly unstable and unwilling to seek help. He made and broke several counseling appointments. He said nobody was worth changing for. He screamed, drove recklessly, threw things. I left the day he threw me on a bed and then pinned me in a corner and threatened to kill me.
He has never met his son. After I left he got a little counseling and took some pills and claimed he was cured. He's dilusional. He sees things and hears voices. He used to convince me that I was the crazy one.
I think he may have found a new woman to abuse. He's only interested in money. I could go on....

Comment by geneva jimenez on March 29, 2009 at 3:11pm

wow- great group. It's nice to have other people who know what it's like to survive the hell of DV. I was married to an abuser for ten years before I woke up and realized that if I didn't change (by getting out) I would destroy my children. My ex has stalked me and attacked me since I chose to leave. He's now in prison but of course not forever. I'm not very computer wise- what are my risks exactly by posting info here?? How easy is it to find someone on forums like this?? I have reason to be paranoid.

Comment by Sheilabear on March 13, 2009 at 12:57pm

There is a great online archive and support forum on abusive relationship. It's called Dr. Irene's Cat Box. Just google it :)

Comment by Tracy Kapali on December 2, 2008 at 9:46pm

Funny how God works. I've been toiling with "reconnecting" with my abusive ex and felt that I needed to find something just like this for some help. Thank you to all who have stepped out to not only create this group but for it to be a safe place for domestic violence surviors to share, learn and grow

Comment by Storm on November 25, 2008 at 2:59pm

My mom and us kids survived dv at a time when there were no programs or assistance. I lost my home and family a year ago due to a housemate's mental illness and wound up benefiting from dv laws that didn't exist to protect my mother or me as a child, although the person was not a partner. My daughter and I are recreating our lives from scratch and it's daunting. Still as rough as it can be sometimes, I know that she's learning how to live life on life's terms...one day at a time, one choice at a time...and the choices she sees me make, both good choices and regrettable ones, are giving her strong life lessons.

Comment by Solo-Dad on November 25, 2008 at 9:19am

It took me a long time to come to grips with the DV in my marriage. My son and I left his mother over 5 years ago because I knew I wouldn't survive much longer. Five years on, life is still complex but the scars, both mental and physical, are fading. It takes time, but life is beautiful on the other side. Don't think you are alone. There are many of us making our way beyond DV. :)

Comment by Mitzi on November 4, 2008 at 7:44pm

I'm so glad this group exists. No one understands what it's like until they are there themselves. Sometimes, they don't even understand until they escape the situation. I know I didn't realize I was actually being abused until someone told me. I thought I deserved to be miserable, until someone else pointed out the fact that no one does. That's what abuse does to you. I want to help others before they dig their holes too deeply. Please see my discussion above.

Comment by Janet on August 17, 2008 at 9:33am

Thank you so much Debra. I don't see myself like that (I guess I should). I've just done what needed to be done. :)

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