Has this ever happened to anyone on here but me? Can men explain why they might possibly think this is OK?
Once I thought it was just cause the waitress' shirt was low and her assets were obvious to see. But geez, if a hunky waitor came to the table, I would NEVER stare at his mermerizing eyes or shoulders or package, cause it's just plain rude!
I know men are visual creatures. But is it too much to ask for an ounce of self-control?
It's understandable, I suppose, if the waitor/waitress is wearing something attention grabbing or unusual. But at least have the decency to crack a joke about it.
I just don't think it's cool at all. I know I'm sensitive to it though because my ex was like that and he turned out to be a cheater. Kripes, we'd be driving through the parking lot and he'd honk the horn at other women. I just thought him silly and rolled my eyes thinking he was trying to get a reaction from me. Now I veer more on the 'other side' and think men who blatantly look are showing their clearly disrespectful natures.
Thanks for your reply Jeff - and yeah, I know that now...God the stuff I let slide during my marriage was atrocious. And I take reponsiblity for it now.
It's interesting you know, cause people, when they read my articles, have trouble imagining me being in that kind of relationship; tolerated that kind of b.s. I've even had men say they were scared to meet me in person because of how I write, and are surprised how kind and sweet I am in person. I think the pendulum has to veer to other side for while as I refind my homeostasis...sometimes making me come across as very abrasive.
Permalink Reply by John on August 20, 2009 at 10:56am
It's definitely NOT OK, it's very disrespectful since we've asked YOU out for a date (usually)...now I'm not saying we don't notice it but anything more than a very quick glance is plain rude. I also believe in putting away your cell phone and never checking it during a date until it's over or the other person has gone to the bathroom. It's all about the conversation and listening to see if there is a connection.
I think it is wrong to say it is never ok. What if its a blind date, and well, its just not there?? Or maybe your bored and need to look at something to keep you from going into a coma.....
I was once on a date with a girl, and she kept checking out this guy, so the next time I caught her looking, i belowed out "OH MY GOD, that guy is so hot in those jeans!". Her head snapped back too me, turned bright red, with a complete look of panic on her face, and I almost hit the ground laughing! She started to laugh, and well just say she couldn't keep her eyes off ME the rest of the night!
It happens, if your insecure, it well go badly. Accept reality, laugh about it, have a good time!!
In fact, I throw a dare out to all the ladies. Next date you go on, pick the guy up and take him to a Hooters, make comments on the girls you think are hot, and you will soon find all his attention is focused on you!!
Well, it shouldn’t be too much to ask for, and at best it’s, uncouth.
I hope I would never do that, but if I did – I think the best response from my date would be something like: “She does have a nice butt, doesn’t she?”
We are visual, and I know that you see it as unforgivable, and hey, if you want to get up and walk out I’m all for it, on the other hand – it’s harmless, (yes, thoughtless, but harmless), and is NOT any sort of commentary on what he thinks about you. Really, I promise. It's not fair to paint us all with the brush of your EX, cheaters will cheat, and your ex sounds.more immature than anything else.
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