Nice guys

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Permalink Reply by Marni on March 19, 2009 at 2:30pm

I really prefer a balance. I like things balanced so much I should be a libra, but I'm a pisces:-P In my opinion, its better to be both and be both where they count. I agree with Scott...don't be afraid to argue, tell the truth, have your own life. But that doesn't mean thoughtfulness, respect and love should go to the wayside either.
I dislike "nice guys" because they generally lack the capability for the blunt honesty I need in a relationship. They are afraid of hurting me, or getting hurt. I dunno. I still think you should be yourself and you will find what you want. It all depends on what you are looking for!!

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Permalink Reply by argonaut (Scott) on March 19, 2009 at 11:11pm

I don't get accussed of being tactful too often. A girlfriend in high school once said I was "disgustingly honest". Because, I told her what I thought of her stretch pants. I have been told I have a strong personality.

It's the getting started thing. I think The Scott has a point about starting things going. He reminds me of a friend who once said if you want to get a girl to remember you be an *sshole to them. I am not good at intentionally being one. Although, I am sure unintentionally I am some times.

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Permalink Reply by uomeasmile (Kim) on March 19, 2009 at 10:16pm

Kotka, I like nice guys too. I have never had the yearning for the "bad boys."

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Permalink Reply by Clare on March 20, 2009 at 2:31pm

Be assertive and bold. Don't worry about being bad or nice. Just have faith in yourself and what you have to offer. A blind faith. I personally really appreciate someone who is caring and compassionate.

Some women, well probably most of us are wounded. We have been burned, and we have a big guard up. It takes some effort sometimes to get that guard down. Being reasonable, chivalrous, and fun will take you far. Being able to communicate what you want and listen to what she has to say, and ask questions.

Male or female, we all want someone to see us as special and let us know.

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Permalink Reply by uomeasmile (Kim) on March 20, 2009 at 2:38pm

Awesome Clare... I love your advice!

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Permalink Reply by Clare on March 20, 2009 at 3:14pm

Thanks Kim! I really don't like the "act." Or games. Just being genuine is key. Although if you aren't confident, sometimes you have to fake that till you make it, and it will come.

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Permalink Reply by Janer on August 19, 2009 at 7:38pm

i'm a self confessed sucker for the bad boy...and it's true...it's confidence and knowing yourself and standing up for yourself. no one wants a wimp (except controlling women). i hate men who when you say "where should we go for dinner" they say "anywhere you want dear". that's fine now and then. give and take is great...but man.. MAKE A DECISION!

it's not about being "bad" or rude or a jerk...know who you are, and find a woman that respects who you are and loves who you are. if you don't like making decisions, then find a girl who does. if you are wimpy, find a girl who likes that. don't change who you are for anyone. you can work on confidence (i did...used to be a total wall flower) but only if you want to! change the things about yourself that YOU don't like...not the things you think will "get you the girl"...because you'll just end up with a girl you don't really want anyway.

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Permalink Reply by Don S. on September 10, 2009 at 9:36pm

Frankly, I don't have the time or energy to try and figure out a woman and what she wants. What I want sometimes is sex, sometimes it's someone to talk to, sometimes it's just someone to look at or just not be alone with. When my desires and her desires line up then there's a relationship. Other than that, the moment I feel those red and oily feelings of jelousy, obsession, looking for an opening, or feeling 2nd I'm done. I won't chase, if I'm talking to you and I feel like pushing it and it gets me a date, great. If she's kinda wishy washy... or seems disinterested I'm out. I've learned the hard way that being a friend first is not the way to get a girlfriend. I'm not changing anybody and I'm tired of dancing for dinner at the Y.

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Permalink Reply by Terra C.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on September 16, 2009 at 10:52pm

I don't think its nice guys vs/ bad boys BUT simply humans that think for themselves. And not in the selfish and childish bad boy way, but also not in the do-anything-to-get-a-girl nice guy way. Just the person that is simply happy with himself and a well rounded individual. (Athletic or fit, smart, independent but willing to be open.) I mean, we ONLY want the world darn it!
;-)~
Seriously. We all know the ol' stop looking and you will find it. Its so true! Stop looking, fall in love (or like at least) with your self, and the right one will find her way to you...once you're not concerned with it!
Unoriginal but good advice!
Peace!

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Permalink Reply by Aurora Baxter on September 16, 2009 at 11:40pm

I totally agree with That Girl. I think people confuse "nice guy" with "spineless" or "needy." The most attractive thing in a guy is self-confidence. I have a friend that complains that he is always "just friends" with women. His problem is that his low self-esteem doesn't attract women and he has low self-esteem because he doesn't attract women. I think that maybe if he wasn't looking so hard, maybe he would find it.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 18, 2009 at 1:41pm

Because we often do not know that the person is bad when we met. I just started a topic on this on the ask men side.

I realize some women have not met a good man or seen one so they simply do not know.

Me, I realize the quiet ones are the most dangerous.

Good question.

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