Another good one fot he guys

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 9, 2009 at 10:08am

i got one small concession last night. he has to stop calling the cops and he has to accept the legal docs.

he knows he has to pay support for hsi step daughter. not my doing men he did that. he also did one other stupdi thign to make it harder. he filed in the high court there and he keeps saying he wants and uncontest divorce but he filed for a contested one.

he cannot dismiss. he was given the chance to and he never agreed. he said he would finally divorce but, he still had excuses. so i am back to being confused again. the lawyers, several told me tody that he may have to sell the house he just bought. and had he been wider he could have made it harder for me to ask for anytying had he put the house in his gf name. he did not. ah more confusion. he was told by the police to that i could get an order to come to the ouse again. naw, i do not want to.

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Permalink Reply by Capt 152 on November 9, 2009 at 3:35pm

I just read it twice and still confused by his actions, say one thing and do another, he wants a divorce and yet won't sign, if I may say this nicely....CCCCCRRRRAAAAZZZZYYYY. keep your headup, he will get what's coming to him. it may cost him everything if he keeps up this game..

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Permalink Reply by Janer on November 9, 2009 at 6:22pm

if he's anything like my ex, the answer is that he's just not logical when it comes to emotional things. I told my ex that if he chose to delay court just for the sake of being an ass, he would have to take whatever the court ordered and i wouldn't play nice anymore. He delayed, said he'd fight for custody...then in the end says he's not fighting...but now he gets to deal with whatever the court orders for child support, just like i told him he would. Not logical...just emotional reactions which end up screwing him over in the end. Stick to your guns. I have made the mistake of letting him off the hook too many times...not this time. this time he can deal with the consequences of his emotional reactions. :)

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 10, 2009 at 7:13am

i agree capt. i met with a lawyer here to get a court date finally. i hired one for the last stages. and i am getting a cnd lawyer to help as well.

jurisdication now has to be decided. janer, i got acall sun form the cops to specifically tell i could call hm at his work when he said not to and to send stuff there. i had just been sending him stuff. so the call thing was wierd. he just said he would let the courts work things out and he has no laywer. a canadian friend said she htink he is hiding moer info from his gf hence this move. at this point he will just get court dates. one his semi set and another there is being set.

his time is running out. if i win i get to force him to sell the house under Ont law. his kids told me buying it stressed him out so it sounds like he using this another excuse. plus if he has to move again his gf is with him for the money. irony is he called me the gold digger. even his kids said he was nuts for saying that.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 11, 2009 at 5:16pm

K, now iknow why he did what he did, partly.
Still does not make sense. Ont is the one with jurisdication. Good for me.

Second, this house he bought under Ontario Cnd law he cannot sell or do anything with unless I agree in writing. Wierd but true. He apparently knew this so he did screw his new gf over. i was told to let the Utah divorce sit until Ont makes a decision and they toldme they will not unless we get a case conference and or agrees to a written signed settlement offer. The house is not part of that offer he has two options now on that.

He took his gf rights away. no surprise he did that to me.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 12, 2009 at 9:25am

Sorry for the rants. I got m y anwwers finally.

Men, he had a heart after all. I am humbled. He could have lied and not said he was married. Instead when the deed was filed when he bought the house he could have said his gf had the right to the home and some other stuff. Instead he listed me as the legal spouse and by Ontario law that meant he did indeed ascertain my right to the house. He knew then if he died the house would go to me. I had a house my entire life until i moved there and gave it up. I had wanted to buy another one there and almost bought one last year in NY. Cheap housing in Buffalo. Far cheaper than here. He was supposed to go look at home for me and he did not. So now he does this.

In essence he gave me the right to the house. Even the land registry govt people there said he could have said nothing and no one would have been the wiser. He knew then I could do several things at this point and he not done anything to protect me from making him pay rent, under thier law, or sale the house. Because my daughter is disabled I could request to live in the home with or without him. He aknowledged that fact as well.

Had he not put in writing with the deed people that he was married the onus would have been on me to prove the home ownership. He did it for me. What is tryng to do?

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 12, 2009 at 7:36pm

last post on this.

I have my answers.

Under the law, he had two choices when he bought the house, one of them I can challenge, and that is the issue of is the house a matrimonial home. Maybe not. But had he been wiser he would not have even legally noted we were married. He could have put the house in a trust, or his kid's anem or his gf name He did not.
He put in soley his name and thus opened the opportunity for me to ask for cost or a buyout. He also aknowledged my daugther in a filing with the land registry, like a county clerk.

Had he not noted us he would not have to deal with the house as an issue. He actually noted us after he bought the house. Now the house could be put into trust should he not do a written settlement agreement and cost going to me. He would lose the most on doing this. Still does not make sense. Now if he sales the house, because I am american, then he now has to pay a huge tax penalty on the house now not matter what happens. The lawyers told me a 25 per penatly. Tax law.

Then, there is the issue if him not willing to settle pensions. He has to in Canada but here it is automaitcally split down the middle. He has to pay support for my daughter. No escpaping that.

But he did not even mention his gf in his legal docs on the house. She has no legal rights on the house for 3 years. A good lawyer said he should have just not mentioned me but he did. He may have done this because when we get into court they will ask what if anything he has done for his stepdaughter for support. THe house could be his only saving grace. They could still force the house into a trust or what is called partition

It is at the end of the day about taxes. he is still saving on it tax wise as long as he is legally married. Men!!! but because I still had a house whe we married and up until the 6 m of marriage he has to pay me the difference of the euqity i had at the time.about 12k. So about 6000.
I may not have the right to live in the house in Canada but the right to the equity which is stll severl thousands dollars. I offered him the last settlement offer with only the child support nothng else. He has yet to respond.


he deemed her under Ontario law a child of the marriage by him filing an visittion order. I gave him a chance to dismiss that this week and he refused.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 12, 2009 at 7:37pm

oh about right now, i want to take him to the highest peak and shove him off!

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 13, 2009 at 6:23pm

I want to thank everyone and the men. I am not a nut. Really!
It is just that when i got the ex served then I found out about the house I am a curious person by nature. I have to repress the urge to learn what I cannot understand at times.

But there are issues at play in another country that do not always apply in the US. So, i needed to know what if any thing I could expect , or lose and or gain from the assets. If he defaulted would I be liable. Then when I found out how he filed the deed, more questions. He couild have lied and not mentioned me or my child but he did. That added to my questions yet again.

I mean a man buys a house while married lives with another woman does not give her rights to the home but then mentions me? Why be nice to me now and he could not not said a word about me and been non the wise to the govt. There is no tax benefit for him but a possible big tax penalty something to do with me being american and having a propert interest in Canada.

he wouild not settle not come to court and there were two jurisidcation and a visiation issue with his step child. None of this made sense. Part of it does now but it is still wierd. If it were me I would be in a hurry to end this and yet evey step foward we go two steps sideways. What should have been a simple matter became very complicated from his own actions.

what i thought would be a trip to settle things faster got delayed. i was better of not knowing. curuositiy almost killed this cat.... : (

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Permalink Reply by Travis on November 15, 2009 at 8:46am

The mind is complicated thing, and we tend to fight logic with emotion. At one point, we recognize that we need to do certain things, the next... our emotions kick in and contradict what we logically thought.

I have been fighting this with my Ex. She is very emotional and will stick to her guns. Even if it means contradicting herself...

What you have described feels so much this, that he is fighting logic with emotions. In other words... He's crazy.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 16, 2009 at 7:13am

Thanls for the input guys. I thn i have the right answer. He is crazy he afraid of a second failure.

As one of you put it, I sent the last offer on friday. No reply. So, a friend of mine who has family in Canada let me know about a good air fare back. Dirt cheap. He will be there in Canada again in Dec so I will go back when he is there for support. he is a life long friend. He suggested I try two things, One was, crazy but true. If I get pregnant now the stbx is the dad, law, no i am not, nor do I plan to be.But i emailed him that info and then told him I wanted to remarry. No, i do not but if this does not get him to court nothing will.

I told him to marry the women he is with and loves. I am being nice. what more does he expect?

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