High Epectations Lead to Dissappointment

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on December 4, 2009 at 7:23pm

I am just shocked to see a mom not able to bond with a child. That seems to be a theme going on here for some.

I have been to close to my kids at time, I admit it. You are not alone. You and JD here in the same boat. Just know a lot of mother's go through what you do. It is a hard work but someday when your kid is grown up they will thank you. I remember when my son came home from his MOS and boot camp training he told me I should have been tougher on him. But then he said, I should have married someone better. THen i said but I would not have gotten you. I cried. I felt bad for picking a bad dad. You made cry reading this. It is not fair.

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Permalink Reply by Jenny on December 5, 2009 at 10:39am

I feel your pain--- I have been doing it all alone for 6 years and the father of my son is pretty much "twin" to your son's mother. In a way I am glad he is not around as if that is the way he is.. I feel it better he not be here at all as I do not want to see my son have to go through having a dad that comes and goes as he pleases... you are teaching your child what a real man is by staying. There are so many men that would go and my heart goes out to you. I wish for the heart change in my son's father.. but I cannot make that happen so its best I leave it to God and go on... it really does suck.. I have this cute sticker that says : "The grass on the other side is artificial turf" .. so true... that party lifestyle is a facade and its not what is lasting... You have given me hope that there are men out there in my shoes and will stay and love their children.. I encourage you in your day to day as it is hard and NOT FAIR but what you are doing will be worth it in the end... our children KNOW who will be there and who will not... she may want to come back, but you may have to set boundaries..like say she needs to take some parenting classes and get some help before she comes in and messes up yours and your son's life that you have worked so hard to build... I pray that you are blessed to be surrounded with others (especially women) that DO love and want to nurture their children.. my heart breaks for you as I know all too well.. guess I carry the same fear that he will just come back and be like: "okay I'm ready now.." and I will be like: "I have been here the whole time.. no way..." and to see our children's hearts get messed around is TOO MUCH! -blessings to you today from someone who is in the same boat--- let me know if you ever need help rowing!! :)

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Permalink Reply by Luis on December 9, 2009 at 7:26am

Thanks everyone thats great advice I feel a bit more at ease knowing i'm not the only one going through it.. I really do Have To get legal custody It would take a lot of weight off my shoulders, I've done all the research to find out what I need to do I just haven't done it .. I guess i'm procrastinating maybe still hoping it doesn't have to come to that.. But it is long over due . I guess I'm also a bit afraid that If I get legal custody that My son might resent me when he gets older and maybe blame me for not having his mother around...Any how thanks again and I wish the best for all of you..

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Permalink Reply by rebecca on December 5, 2009 at 11:47am

I know exactly how you feel...

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on December 6, 2009 at 7:27am

JD has good advice. Go to court and get legal custody. It is n the best interest of the child at this point.

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Permalink Reply by Ofelia on December 9, 2009 at 11:21am

"....And partly because I guess I just wish i had made a better choice picking who I shacked up with" - this is exactly how I feel! I've always felt very guilty for not giving my son a good father. Everytime he pops back into his life (for a week or so) it scares me because I know he is going to break his heart again and since he's never around, when he does visits, he's like this big hero. Ughhh I guess it is better this way but I'm afraid my son sooner or later will figure out the type of man his father is. Oh how I would like to get inside his heart and make him love my son. I would do anything to make my kid completely happy but there are so many things in life we cannot change. We just have to work with what we have and make the best out of it. Happy parents make happy children. Good luck to you. I know it's hard. Thank God for iHeart!

:)

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Permalink Reply by Ofelia on December 9, 2009 at 11:21am

ps...YES! get legal custody...ASAP!!!

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