Forgiveness.

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Permalink Reply by Richie on September 3, 2009 at 11:10am

Forgiveness....ummmmmm....Well there are some things that are unforgivable like the therapist said. And like Mr. Green said forgiveness is about you not them. It's about you not holding anger in your heart. They don't need to know that they have been forgiven. Just because you forgave someone does not mean that you trust them again or that things will be like it never happened. It just means that you are ready to move on happily with your life. So if the act is forgivable and you forgive, just never forget. That's when you get caught off guard and the same thing may happen again.

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Permalink Reply by Steve G. on September 3, 2009 at 11:16pm

Is It Time To Let Go?


“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~ Author Unknown.

The wisdom of letting go has been taught throughout the ages. It has been said that there are no voids because the universe abhors a vacuum. The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. While a quantum physicist could explain it in scientific terms, suffice it to say, the moment we let go of something, energy in one form or another must rush in to fill the void. The operative words here are “let go.” While less tangible than material things, thoughts and memories that tie us to the past can truly block our ability to create anything new. Sometimes it’s not just holding on to wonderful memories of the past that keep us from creating a new life today--it’s clinging to old hurts, wounds, resentments, regrets and disappointments.

What might you be holding on to that no longer serves you in creating a life worth living today? Perhaps it’s time to do some long needed forgiveness work and be done with the toxic energy of resentment once and for all. Remember, forgiving doesn’t mean condoning past actions--it means setting yourself free to be an open and receptive vessel for joy today. Perhaps it’s about releasing someone from a monetary debt you know they will never pay. In doing so you are creating a void into which new abundance can flow today. Maybe it’s time to offer a final thanks for a relationship you had in the past that has left its imprint deeply etched upon your heart (either good or bad), knowing that in this release process you are creating that vacuum which draws to you new relationships that reflect the love and passion you hold for life today.

In all of your letting go, know that you are always immersed in the presence of an Infinite Intelligence that put you here for a reason. Your purpose awaits you in every new moment. Your part is to be open and available to what life has in store for you today and trust the process. Have faith--let go, open up and step into the void remembering that as you let go of what “has been” you naturally open to what “can be.” That is the promise of the universe and its waiting for a sign from you.

Peace and love to all, Steve

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Permalink Reply by uomeasmile (Kim) on September 4, 2009 at 12:59am

I read this and kept thinking, that's why we miss Steve so much! What a wonderful reply, and I couldn't agree more! Peace and love to you and A.

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Permalink Reply by Jenny on December 5, 2009 at 10:53am

I believe that forgiveness is necessary for you but forgetting is how we are made as humans to protect us from getting into the same situations. I forgive my son's father whole heartedly--- however if he ever chose to come back he would need to respect some boundaries before going full force into our lives (as he has never been here) -- that's not punishing him, its protecting my son and I (as trust needs to be gained and if he really is serious about the change then he would respect that and continue to move ahead in spite of the boundaries-- separates the immature from the mature). Once he shows and I can know his heart is true.. then we can move ahead a little.. isn't it the way it should be? Trust is earned.. they made choices.. choices and actions have consequences... I actually got a call from my son's father about a year and half ago and he says"I think of you both everyday and wonder and I want to be involved".. I said "great! I am so glad for that desire in your heart. since we really do not know you we would need to get together (me and you) and talk about some financial support (any amount-- just for consistency sake) for about a year and meet in a mutual location for parenting counseling together so we can get on the same page for Jamison (my son).. He was like: "okay." then I never heard from him again. So the desire was good.. but the follow through not so much.. my offer still stands with him till this day.. he needs to decide as he cannot just come and go and mess with our hearts and minds.. so yes I forgive him and I think I showed that by my willingness to work with him.. forget? no, we can't.. its like our nerves that tell us when something is "hot" we heal from the burn.. but we learn not to touch it again right? Trust is earned and out children and those we love are worth every bit of that effort... Forgiveness yes.. Forgetting is God's territory... that is just how I see it I hope that may aide someone else as well...

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Permalink Reply by Jenny on December 5, 2009 at 10:57am

I read a really great book that dealt with the exact issue you are facing as I struggled with that myself .. I do not know if you are into books but its called "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud... I pick it up alot still to be reminded and encouraged that the choices I am making are solid and to keep moving in the right direction... check it out if you like!

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Permalink Reply by rebecca on December 5, 2009 at 11:38am

I read somewhere that you dont forgive for them, you want to get to that point where you forgive for yourself...

I think thats true..because the anger and hurt thats felt when someone hurts you can become like a poison and and it turns to bitterness and inturn affects all ur relationships....

Time helps to heal and make the forgiving alot easier, forgetting is awhole nother issue...:)

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on December 5, 2009 at 1:48pm

I forage my ed and then he would do something to make me not want to again.
This ex I did a long time ago but he is making it tough.

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Permalink Reply by Lee on December 14, 2009 at 10:54pm

Hi Kim... I truly think that it's important to forgive. My husband died a year and a half after our divorce and I was able to forgive him and talk to him before he left. I think that was the key to my closure. On the other hand, his parents have done many many things that are simply unforgiveable and I don't believe that I'm ready to stop hating them right now. Do I lose sleep over this? Not anymore!

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Permalink Reply by argonaut (Scott) on December 6, 2009 at 10:27pm

Forgiveness helps you heal and move forward. However, it holds no therapuetic value for your ex. If he had written the letter he would have had to admit what he did was wrong, petty and controlling. Now he can keep pretending he did nothing wrong.

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Permalink Reply by Jef-free on December 15, 2009 at 8:35pm

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Buddha

Forgive and move one, no reason the ex should have any emotional power over you anymore.

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