do not get marariedi ONtario Canada

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 28, 2009 at 4:21pm

omg the typos.sorry.

so unless agrees we can be married for a long time. holy moly!

not happy at all.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 7:15am

I got another email telling me to stop doing the divorce myself and that ONLY a high priced lawyer can do what I am dong.

To stop doing research. I would like to if a lawyer would take the case on. Several say the wil lthen they stop because of the ex making it hard. Usually the cases are agreed to and settled but he is refusing. I did find that i can get cost just under what a laywer would be paid for him refusing to settle. They want it in writing and notarized.

Since he bought a house that now means he has to pay me out of the house or allow me to boy it. To the tune of 150000.

I now have to show w a good tax reason for him to settle with me to him and the court. I kid you not. Back to reading Canada tax credit rules. I have learned more about the country not living there.


http://www.lawhelpontario.org/morehelp/ if anyone there needs help.

i go in two weeks.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 8:37am

So i found the cost formula they use for self represent people. It is higher than I thought. 275 an hour.

I just saw where a judge ruled harshley on a person refusing to settle. Good for me bad for him.

It turns out an asset we have to split will cost hm more than I imagined.

I will post another eamil from the lawyer in a while. It is nuts.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 8:47am

http://www.metrac.org/programs/info/tororg.htm
posting some legal help for hte area. if one ever needs them.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 9:28am

Certain changes to the Child Support Guidelines took effect on 1 May 2006. These are discussed in the next chapter, Child Support > The Guidelines. For most people, the changes will result in an increase in the amount of child support payable.

Note that both the Divorce Act and the Family Relations Act require that the courts give child support priority over spousal support when a parent makes an application for both orders. In other words, if there isn't enough money to pay both, child support will take precedence.

Back to the top of this chapter.

The Divorce Act

A court can only make an order for child support under the Divorce Act if it has the jurisdiction to make an order for the divorce of the child's parents: the parents must be or have been legally married, and the parent making the application must have lived in his or her province for at least one year before the application is made.

Child support is, under the Divorce Act, a kind of "corollary relief." All relief claimed in a divorce proceeding is corollary relief apart from the application for the divorce order itself. Applications under the Divorce Act can only be heard by the Supreme Court.

In the Divorce Act, children are referred to as "children of the marriage." A child must fall within the act's definition of a "child of the marriage" in order to be eligible for support. There are a couple of important definitions in s. 2(1) of the act which apply in determining whether a child is a "child of the marriage:"

"age of majority", in respect of a child, means the age of majority as determined by the laws of the province where the child ordinarily resides, or, if the child ordinarily resides outside of Canada, eighteen years of age;

"child of the marriage" means a child of two spouses or former spouses who, at the material time,

(a) is under the age of majority and who has not withdrawn from their charge, or

(b) is the age of majority or over and under their charge but unable, by reason of illness, disability or other cause, to withdraw from their charge or to obtain the necessaries of life;

As well, s. 2(2) of the act says that:

For the purposes of the definition "child of the marriage" in subsection (1), a child of two spouses or former spouses includes

(a) any child for whom they both stand in the place of parents; and

(b) any child of whom one is the parent and for whom the other stands in the place of a parent.

Taken together these definitions mean that:

1. child support can be owing from an adoptive parent, as well as a natural parent;
2. child support can be owing by a step-parent;
3. child support is payable until a child reaches the age of majority in the province where the child lives; and,
4. child support can be payable after the child reaches the age of majority if the child cannot withdraw from his or her parents' care.


this is part of the law that has created a problem.

I was in the beginning not going to ask for this then he refused to drop this divorce in Ont and not cooperate with a US one then the courts here told me they have to go by the fist one unless he dropped it and he refused.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 9:49am

Been trying sort this out. Tried to hire laywers. they say ok then they say no. This is what a legal aid lawyer sent me.
i am trying to get the divorce now settle financial stuff later. because he filed and now is refusing there is no default thing had it been done one other way default would have been an issue. they say it could take a long time to go to trial and before then case conf. will be set. like mediation but not binding. so at every meeting he could potentially keep throwing in things to stall the divorce since they wont let hm not pay support even if id not ask it is hanging in the air. she has sent me 4 emails. telling me not do this on my own bt have no choice. do not have the ten thousand they want.

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When support is severed then either it ends by way of settlement (consent/minutes of settlement) or a trial (judge tells you both what will happen) .
The question time is dependent on alot of factors however an affidivit divorce (uncontested) is usually only 5 months or so from strat. A divoce by trial can be years from beginning to end - and the reasons are not possible to explain by email. By filing an answer you attorn to Canadian law. You case involvesan area called conflicts of law and so only the very well paid will take it on. The court staff are not lawyers and by telling you to file an answer they have set you on a course of action to proceed to divorce in Canada. I will not give you any opinion about whether a US or Canadian divorce can proceed quicker in your situation. The moment of divorce affects the matrimonial home designaton. Another reason why my duty counsel sent you to aprivate lawyer. We do not deal with matrimonial homes as duty counel as that is property and those with property interests do not get duty counsel assistance. Do I make it clear your matters are not mandated for the service for which duty counsel is funded. This is why we also do not do phone or email support in complex areas. You cannot keep picking up pieces or trying to self study - your case requires a very senior international lawyer and that is why without lots of money you are not finding a lawyer to take your cas

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 10:07am

wow. i just got another email back from the lawyer. she has agreed to get a law student to help me.

i said i cannot afford the cost and have tried and tired on my own to end this. how manyl laywers i spoke to. so wish me luck. it means i would pay cost of paperwork and long distance. she will draw up the dfaft i need. i hope this works ihave exhausted everytiing. i either use the money to hire the lawyer or pay some medical bills. not much of a choice.

i need a major miracle now.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 12:15pm

Got this now. I am putting this here because when I mentioned it sounds maddening. It is.
they use some terminology not common here or used here. The letters are from a lawyer in the courthouse that is supposed to help you do it yourself but they did not help much when I was ther because he did not make an offer to settle as required by the divorce rules. How do you force a stubborn mule>
Because of several court rulings this year he has to offer some support for my daughter and sun i said nothing for any money to me or her he still had to sign and agree and he did not.
So anyone In Ont that went through any any help would be greatly apprectiated. Motivating him to make an offer. A judge can accept it or reject but one has to be made. So even if he offered a penny it still has to be in writing. So i can ask for more than what the govt says but he can aso offer less I guess.




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In Canada , you can only get child support for a disabled child through the divorce act. So pursuing the child support in your answer is important. Do you have your answer drafted? If you are claiming more than the child support guidelines for the child, you will need to set out the details of your extra ordinary expense claim ( care expenses for the child’s needs) and you must if claiming section 7/extraordinary expenses then prepared, serve and file a financial statement (Form 13.1)along with your answer.

Your reply about the home he owns is unclear in your last email. It shows great confusion on your part. In an answer, if you are claiming an equalization of the property (home plus savings, rrsps etc) owned at the date of marriage then you must file an NFP statement (a 3rd document) with the case conference brief. The boxes for property on the answer form and NOT complete pleadings and you must know what to say at in your claims section.

When are you going to serve and file your answer in the Canadian proceeding?

What is your annual income from all sources including government support for your children in your care?

What assets do you have?

I may consider assisting you with the completeness of an answer for the benefit of my articling student’s training. This would be a limited retainer with duty counsel (free) if I authorize it only for the review of your answer and case conference brief. It will require my articling student to complete an interview with you at your long distance phone cost. We do not have an electronic intake form and a time for you to call us would have to be arranged so I can be present to supervise his interview of you on my s

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 1:37pm

You must answer my quesion re assets and income in my last email. I am not for hire. I am a staff lawyer with legal and all i have done by email is above my mandate. You have to use your money to ge a lawyer to come to the case conference event and to be paid to give you a written opinion about the house and property. I repeat my services are not about those issues. Until you describe your current income per year and its source and describe your assets in the states I cannot consider helping with any more informaton or procedural advise. Be clear that this is not representation nor being a lawyer for your case. I am only conceying procedural advise. Not a risk benefit or costs analysis that might be made against you if you proceed to make frivolous claims against assets not divisiable from the relationship. Please answer my questuins - your heart condition is not why I am offering very limited assistance. K

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Not making frivilous claims. came armed with facts and documents. How do i go to court if i cannot hire a lawyer whenI am supposed to have one. : (

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 29, 2009 at 5:23pm

last post for the day. I finally found a lady in a shelter there who can help me. i have to call back on mon. to help sort out all the paperwork and give me an idea of what to do and what i cannot do.

then she tells me this, shie said this more common than the gov there will admit. she then says it is common for a man like this to drag it out. you men were right. control issue. power issue.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 30, 2009 at 6:40am

Ok.
So a friend in Canada translated this down to this

The legal aid lawyer said there should not be a big deal to this but then she says it is. Sooooo complicated that only a high priced lawyer can help.

Whatver. Does that mean the low priced ones are not qualifed?

But last week out of just fed up i contacted the ex and said to put in writing we want nothing from each other and sign it and send it to the court. He did not. So kept asking why do this. The only answer I got was because he can, because he is a control freak and abuser.

The court would not let me filed stuff without the legal aid lawyers who insist I need something from him. So i mailed them stuff this time and now sit and wait for court and ok from the court. If they find i did not word something right then I am not sure what will happen. I went to a divorce fprum there and people there seem to be as confused I am.

Since I am a us citizen i am a court virgin there. So last night I thought if he thnks I am being unreasonable and unyielding so he said, then why not show up with an offer for no money for the divorce..... but then the lawyer said i was being frivilous. I just asked what are my rights. I really do not know. I get told different thngs by different lawyers. So i thought if there is nothng to divide why not show up to court

There is no reason to stay married. None. for now they say we got o case conference if he does not show to settle another is scheduled then another etc beofer it can get to a trial. they want us to settle but he is refusing. they tell meit could take a yera or more before a judge may decide.


so everyone told me to put pressure on his gf. she was told i did not want a divorce.

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Permalink Reply by WhisperingWinds on November 30, 2009 at 10:55am

so the legal aid lady emails me back and forth today. got more answers.

but he has to CONSENT to one of the court things i want a conference to try to settle all this.

so he can say no to what is in essence mediation. freking freking. grrr.
a this ratei will be divorced when i am 50! glaciers are melting faster than this!

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