How Did You Become a Single Parent?

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Permalink Reply by Todd on August 1, 2008 at 10:32pm

I met a woman with 3 children who was recently divorced. She was very involved in their lives coaching their soccer a little league teams. I found her devotion to be very attractive and really loved her kids, maybe even more than her. & moths later I got a TEXT MESSAGE that she was 8 weeks pregnant! I was scared to death a first but then thrilled. Igot a 4 bedroom house, a minivan-ouch, and thought we were going to get married.Then I met her ex husband and found out everything she told me was a lie, she wasnt even divorced when I met her. Life became a push/ pull relationship and she only responded when she needed something, usually money. My friends told me it was just hormones and to wait it out, everything would be fine after the birth.
The day our son was due came and went, we talked daily or had dinner together. A couple days later she didnt answer her phone and neither did her kids. I called the hospital to find out she was already in recovery. when I got to the hospital I was incredible hurt and angry, i really wanted to be present for the birth of our son. She and her friend lied to me and gave me all kinds of stories about a quick delivery and no time for a phone call. That night when i went home to share pictures of our son on myspace i noticed she had a new top friend. his head line said that his girl had the baby and he got to cut the cord! I was so sick I just threw up. I raced to the hospital to find them both curled up in the hospital bed with this strange guy holding my son! I still dont know why he left intact that night. Turns out he was the one who had named our son.
Cadens mother only allowed me to see him a couple times after his birth, but then it made her boyfriend too uncomfortable to have me around. So I lawyered up, she refused to allow me to see him for the first 3 months of his life. I then met the new boyfriends wife and between her and my sons mothers ex we pooled all of our resources. turns out she was a very bad person with quite a criminal record and I was just the newest in a long line of scams.
So now Im awaiting our custody hearing at the end of august, the custody evaluator has recommended i be awarded custody and we will see what happens.
Becoming a dad is the single best thing that ever happened to me, and although I really wish things could have turned out differently because I wanted to be far more involved in my sons birth and life, ill just hve to accept things the way they are and be happy I have such a perfect little boy in my life. He is my complete reason fro getting up in the morning and I cant wait every day to have one of his hugs. He give the best hugs! He has taught me so much about myself, brought out qualities I didnt know I had, and been my hero. I love being a dad!

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Permalink Reply by Debra on August 2, 2008 at 9:07am

Prayers for you that you get custody of your son. God Bless you for being such a strong and loving man in the face of such ugliness and betrayal.

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on August 2, 2008 at 11:34pm

You are doing a great job Todd. You are goning to provide your son with a wonderful childhood!!

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Permalink Reply by Melissa on August 19, 2008 at 11:23pm

wow Todd you have quite the story to tell. I thought my story was crazy but you have me beat by a long shot.
Good luck with the court system, try not to get discouraged as it can take a long time.

take care - Melissa

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Permalink Reply by Michael McDonald on October 26, 2008 at 2:41pm

I can remember holding my daughter for the first time. I could never understand anyone that would walk away from thier child.

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Permalink Reply by Michael McDonald on October 26, 2008 at 1:47pm

there is nothing better then being a father and i grieve for the time you have lost.

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Permalink Reply by layo on November 12, 2008 at 9:55am

i have a strong believe that you will be granted the custody of your son. dont worry victory is yours.

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Permalink Reply by Jamie on November 24, 2008 at 12:32pm

I hope you get full custody!!! I can't believe sometimes the crazy people in this world. When i had my son the father didn't want to be there and wasn't! She has no clue how lucky she was to have had a nice guy who truly wanted to be a father! So sorry about what happened, keep fighting for your son!

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Permalink Reply by yada28@cox.net on February 25, 2009 at 9:24pm

U r a good father and bad things happen to bad people in the end.So, in the end u will be granted custody. Keep strong and continue to pray. I will def pray for u all.

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Permalink Reply by Nisa Windsong on March 16, 2009 at 6:41pm

Your dedication to your son and his life is AWESOME! Mean people suck and I know that this statement doesn't cover the half of what you went through. Keep on keeping on! ;-)

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Permalink Reply by Debby on August 1, 2008 at 10:37pm

I chose to become a single mom. I was in a long term relationship that ended when I was 34. I had always said if I was on my own at 35, I would have a baby on my own. I kept hoping I would meet the right person, but as I was still pretty caught up in feelings from the last relationship, I knew that was not going to happen in a timely manner, so I had to review my values, and it became clear to me that the baby trumped the husband. So, at 36, a year late, I started looking into local sperm banks, chose a donor, and went forward. After 2 attempts at Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) I found myself pregnant. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. My daughter is now 3. I kind of feel that I have been shut off from meeting men in the first few years of my daughter's life, but maybe now that will change. But today is my 40th birthday, and I am really struggling with wanting a second child, and it's pretty hard to do one, let alone two, on your own. So here's to hoping that 40 will be the big year of good decisions and new people in our lives!

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Permalink Reply by marie :) on August 1, 2008 at 10:47pm

Happy Birthday!!! It's my brothers birthday too :) Do something wonderful for yourself! (Probably tomorrow now.. but you should do it anyway!)

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